#3: Waiting For Entourage

Entourage is the best show ever made and it has changed my life.  Forever.  Billy Walsh makes me laugh, E makes me cry, Vince makes me wish I was him, Drama is just drama, and Turtle makes me proud to be an ex-sneakerhead.  Entourage makes me walk down the street with a smile on my face.  Entourage is what I think about when someone sneezes on my head.  Some people count to 10, I sing the theme song of Entourage in my head.

But when is the next episode?  May?  Really?  That would be like 8 months or something between episdoes.  Yes, before anyone flips and tries to describe the thermodynamical structural processes of the show, I know HBO seasons are weird, but I need my Entourage.  It is my Vicodin and HBO is my dealer.

If you’ve never watched Entourage, you should.  It can change your life too.  Keep hearing that the book and movie “The Secret” can change your life?  That may be the case.  BUT in the last Entourage episode, Johnny Drama mentions “The Secret” to E.  So because of the commutative property, you don’t even have to watch “The Secret.”  Just watch Entourage on a TV near you.

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#2: People Sneezing On You

It’s true, I have the Rhinovirus.  For a virus that looks like a snowflake, the Rhino has not been good to me lately.  Luckily, 18 Cold-Eeze lozenges, a couple of dozen Tylenols, Vitamic C lozenges, and gallons of water later, I’m feeling much better.

But the problem is I’m going back into the danger zone tomorrow.  I figured out how I got the Rhino, someone that sits next to me has had it for a while, and she knocked out the girl to her right, and then it was my turn.   Thanks.  But honestly, I can’t blame her.  But the person I can blame is the one who sneezed on my head.  I have a big head, true story.  But that doesn’t give anyone the right to think it’s a landing strip for their snot.  Seriously, put the snot where it belongs, not on my hair.  I would have told her if I wanted extra shine on my hair, but I didn’t.  So next time lady, keep your snot to yourself.

#1: Girls Who Think They’re Hot

You are not hot.  Not even close.  Your rating on “Hot or Not” is probably a 2.3, most probably because some female with bad vision thought you were a guy and gave you a 5.  Seriously.  I have nothing against people who are not ridiculously good looking, but girls who think they’re hot when they’re not is not cool.

The worst kind of girl who thinks she’s hot is the girl who has to announce to those nearby in inappropriate situations that her boyfriend did this or her boyfriend bought that.  Girl stop trippin you got a wild imagination.  We know “my boyfriend” is really code for “my brother” or “my dad” or even “my pimp.”  So say it like it is because I call it like I see it.

When you’re sitting next to this type of girl, she’ll usually cross her legs and point them in the direction away from you so her ass is in your face.  That is uncalled for.